I need to clarify something--the dogs are okay, Daniel is okay. When I say that Loreli hurts them, it's sneaky, small things, nothing that will permanently harm, yet. As closely as I watch I can't have eyes on them 24/7. I have two video monitors that I use too. I've been thinking about this a lot this past week. I've realized this behavior has been going on for the entire time she's been home, almost 6 years. I'm horrified to realize how much I've swept under the rug in hopes that she would heal over time. In hopes that I could "fix" her.
Last night I had a dream:
I was standing in the kid's school, next to the lockers that Loreli will be using this coming up year. I had a bowl of Oreos in my hand. The Oreos were the "keys" to the locks on the lockers. I knew that the Oreos had always opened the locker doors but this time, each Oreo I picked up from the bowl wasn't whole enough to fit into the lock. I looked down into the bowl and the Oreos had fallen apart and none could be used. I was scared and upset. I sifted through them to the bottom and found one that I thought was whole. I was excited but when I carefully lifted it out, I realized that it was only about three-quarters of the cookie and it began slowly crumbling in my hand.
You know, the way all my hopes and dreams are crumbling. Pretty telling that the "keys" to the locker-that-is-Loreli are crumbling and useless as I begin to realize that there is more wrong here than I can "fix".
In the coaching program we are taught that it's not our job to fix everything, it's the client's job. And in Loreli's case, she can't do this for herself. Experts are needed.
No comments:
Post a Comment