Siblings

Today Daniel and I went to the pool and we took some neighborhood friends. A brother and sister pair. I was shocked to the point of tears (that I stuffed down) to see the siblings caring about each other. Sure, there was a little bit of nitpicking, but over all, wow. I was reminded of my brother and me. That bond was the reason I wanted to adopt a sibling for Daniel. There are times when they get along but so often she is mean to him. And Daniel just retreats into himself. It breaks my heart. With Loreli in daycare the past few weeks, Daniel and I get to go play and now we are inviting friends who I haven't felt comfortable inviting in...well, ever. Watching the three of them being silly and ENGAGED was a balm for my soul and an arrow to my heart.

I feel such guilt. This is not the life I want my sweet boy to have to live.

Daniel to Loreli: I love you Loreli!
Loreli: I don't love you.

The shock and hurt on his face is crushing.