Monday, July 28, 2014

UPDATE! on The Big Guns-a bid for control (Hiro and Jewel)

Brad took Daniel to the grocery store and I stayed home with Loreli this evening. She was looking bright eyed and calm and I thought it might be a good time to talk about what had happened earlier in the day.I said, "You know, I really really don't EVER want to do that hold with you again. I will if I have to, but I really hope we never have to do that again."

We talked about what it felt like. She said she it definitely didn't feel like it did when I showed the kids what it was and when it was used. "That was fun!"

I asked her if she felt scared. She said no, just mad. I asked why it had happened in the first place, what started her fury? She said, "I didn't want to do my hair and I thought if I got really mad I would get away with not doing it." (I love it when she can be so honest!)

"Remember how we've talked about doing things the easy way and the hard way? Are you starting to figure out that a screaming fit and time-ins are the hard way?" she laughed about that.

"Yeah. It would be a lot easier to just do my hair."

"You know, sometimes I think we all have two people inside us, just like The Two Carolines. I think you have one Loreli, I don't even want to call her the "bad" Loreli because she is the one who helped you survive losing your family and got you through the orphanage. But she's also the one who tells you now, 5 years after being in our family, that we can't be trusted. That no one loves you. That you don't deserve a family. That you have to keep up your guard in case we decide to send you back.

And then there's the other Loreli that we see sometimes. The one with the bright, dancing eyes. The one who smiles and giggles and loves. That's the one we want to see more of.

Maybe you could give the two parts names. Can you think of a name for the Loreli who helped you survive?"

She thought about it a minute and said, "Hiro."

I thought she meant "hero" and explained what that word meant.

"No, not hero, Hiro. I read a story in school that made me think that would be a good name for a survivor."

"Ok! Cool! Great name! How about the good, kind-hearted kid that we know is really in there. What do you want to call her?"

"Jewel!" 

:-) 


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